ethnography shyea.

Taylor O’Neal

Ethnography Project

Women’s Studies

Are successful working women intimidating to the men in their lives?

Lisa Belkin’s Opt Out Essay really caught my interest when it came to women and their success in life, which is why I chose Missy Coker. My dad has a best friend named Scooter Coker; they have been friends for years. Scooter is married to Missy, who is one of the most successfully savvy women I’ve ever met, and she‘s merely 32. She has always been around, teaching me funny life lessons, by telling me her wild college stories. She’s is a pharmaceutical rep, and she makes twice as much salary as her husband Scooter. She’s very outspoken and outgoing. Many men are actually intimidated by this 5 foot 2 pixie red head, I know my dad is. She’s very witty, and always stands up for herself. She graduated from OSU with a degree in Marketing. I got to travel with her on Friday in her very expensive BMW business car as she went to two different companies to distribute her brochures and packages of samples of an allergy medicine of some sort. ( My dad loves it, because we get samples of good medicine from her all the time). But I loved just watching her answer her business cell phone in her business car in her business-like voice, and intelligently give others orders about where to visit, and deadlines, etc.

I had two main questions for Missy, to help me better understand success for career women, along with many others after reading Lisa Belkin‘s Opt Out, but mainly:

Does she ever have problems with her marriage because she brings home a greater income than her husband? And she laughed as she told me, “ Nope!, I warned Scooter before we got out of college, that I was going to make more money than him. Since we were high school sweethearts, I’ve always kinda worn the pants, he’s just use to it by now.”

And also, if any men that works under or above her ever acted intimidated by her, for being such a young successful woman? She replied by saying, “ Well Tay, there’s always going to be pig headed men that are intimidated by more successful women, but mostly no. I haven’t come across any that have had the guts to say anything about it.”

It was fun to drive around Oklahoma City while she sang along to Taylor Swift and smoked her cigarette. She told me she works in an office most days, but that day I was lucky because we got to just “cruise“. When we visited this one office, we walked in and I sat in a waiting room in front of receptionist desk where Missy delivered her pharmaceuticals. But there wasn’t any really intimidation coming from the nice woman filling out paper work. (Maybe jealousy at the fact that we got to leave).

I also was wondering if she would become a stay at home mother when and if she and Scooter ever decided to have children, as they currently do not. When I asked her, she said cleverly, “ I love my job, Scooter hates his, if anyone is going to give up their career, it’s gonna’ be him.” (Missy’s husband works as an outside salesman at Drive Train Specialists, which is trucking company.)

I asked her if she always knew she wanted to have a career, and be working a full time job at her age, and she replied with, “ Yes, yes, and yes. Not that I knew this is the career I wanted, but I knew that I would be the first one in my family to graduate college, and I always wanted to be able to support myself - by myself. Just knowing that would be an achievement for me.”

Missy helped me better understand the situation of working women, as well as Belkin’s essay. But to better answer my question, I believe I’d have to study more women as Belkin did. In this day in age, I assume most men are intimidated by successful women. Our society still mainly assumes that men “bring home the bacon”, while women cook the bacon. But women have increasingly become the money earners. So, it’s just a matter of time, til men are no longer intimidated by successful women, yet encouraging and supportive. But you know what they say, “ Oh, they’re just jealous”.

blog cuatro.

My future isn't exactly planned out yet, I am just now figuring out what I'm good at and what I might like to do with my life. I'm planning on majoring in Public Relations, and I'm really excited about it, because I think it's what I'm good at, and I can stay interested in it forever. But recently after taking this class, I really am considering minoring in womens studies, because this has been my favorite class this semester. Alot of the classes offered in the women's studies programs sounds amazing, and something I'd be interested in learning about. So if I decide to minor in women's studies, it's good to know all theses incredible classes are offered. I've been thinking alot lately about what kinda of career within my major would, and something I think I'd really enjoy is being a major events coordinator, or planner. Like Ford Center type events. I use to be Student Council President in high school, its something I absolutely loved doing. I loved planning assemblies and fundraisers. In high school , being in charge of alot of things as a girl didn't really bother anyone, but maybe as I get older, and if pursue the career as an events coordinator, I could see how being a woman might be intimidating for some men out there. But I think that career is well rounded when is comes to gender, so I'm not really worried about it too severely. I also worked in a Fabric Store for over a year near Quail Springs Mall, but being a girl really didnt have any effect on that job considering I only worked with other females. But I did work at sonic for a year through high school, and the whole "car hop" role was kind of based on gender. We were told to look presentable and nice to serve people food, and there are rarely any male car hops out there today. The boys were cooks, and the girls serve, which kind of says something on gender roles of women/men. But I know that there are still some areas in our society where women are still expected of typical women roles, but for the most part, I think that our society has progressed to mostly equality in the work place.

blog tres.

I absolutely loved this movie. I'll admit, I'll add it to my favorites. I learned alot about the womens rights movenment ofcourse. I mean, we learned a little about it in high school, but the movie went in depth about it. The thing I never realzied, or even thought about, was the difficulty for African American Women in the womens rights movenment. I think I was just naive, because I thought it was just one big movenment, I didn't realize that the white women were not as asupportive about African American womenrights, because they were just trying to accomplish their own first..and the issue of African American women rights was a whole different issue. I think Iron Jawed Angels had several differents themes in the movie. There was ofcourse political themes occuring with the war, and rebellion, and womens rights. Then there are personality themes suchs as friendship, pride, loyalty. This movie has it all. There are tensions among the women even if they are batting for the same team. There are some women that are in the National Women's Sufferage Society that handle thing differently than Alice Paul does. There are also tensions between white women fighting for their rights, and African American women fighting for their rights. These strong women overcame their adversities by coming together. Alice Paul and her other sufferagettes strived and battled for womens rights by undergoing things that not even some men can handle. Being thrown into women holding cells just for hunger striking is completely immoral, yet they took it, to show how serious they were about receiving the rights the women rightfully deserve. I absolutely can't get over this movie, it's so inspirational. I can't believe the things these women had to go through just to get what we take for granted everyday. Its just absolutely amazing to get a glimpse of what these women went through. I've been telling all my friends about this movie all week. They want me to shut up, but its just inspiring.

blog dos.

I interviewed my great grandma Earlene Hughes. Shes now 88 years old, and she's starting to lose her short term memory. My great grandma is the most straight and narrow person I've ever met, she goes to church 3 times a week, and says a very exaggerated prayer for every meal. She hates MTV, and anything on televison that isn't on the gospel channel or the news. She is very strict, but also very kind. She has the sweetest heart in the town of Booneville, Arkansas, just ask anyone. When I called my great grandma to ask her questions about feminism, she first answered the phone and screamed my mothers name. She always calls me Sheri, until I correct her. We all just laugh about it now. When I asked her about what she thought femenism was, she had the same stereotypical theory, " a bunch a crazy women causing unnecessary trouble ". I asked her if she every experience anything involving the feminist movenment, and she said ,"I had no time for that nonsense, I had 12 kids and a farm to take care of." She doesn't really approve of anything in my lifestyle, when my grandma found out I got a tattoo, she swore the devil was sweeping through my generation. Haha. When I asked her to describe an experience where she realized differences in gender, she told me that one of my great uncles that she had adopted turned out to be a "homosexual", she said, " i didn't raise him that way, but he chose to go down his own path alone." I never met him personally, or many of he adopted children. I just know my Meme, and Aunt Deana, they were her only real children. My great grandma asked me why I was asking her all these questions, and I told her I was in Women's Studies, and that we were discussing femenism, and she just laughed and said," they have classes studying women?" She's funny, I know that it's only because she grew up in those times, and she's just a conservative person. I love her though. One experience in my life when I was made conscious of gender is also an experience with homosexuality. One christmas at my dads side of the familys house, my uncle david alsways would have guy friends come home with him from California for the holidays. I always just thought they were friends. One time, my cousin Bryce, and my Uncle David, and his friend Jose, and I were playing a card game, and Jose got up and asked my Uncle, "would you like any more tea babe?" And me and my cousin Bryce looked at each other and I asked jokingly, " What are you guys gay or something?" and then my Uncle looked at me calmly, and said, " well, yea". I was only 12, so i kinda freaked out, because I was only kidding when I asked, I wasn't expecting that kind of answer. But I really like my uncle, and after my parents talked to me about it, I realized it's not a big deal, he's still my uncle, and there's nothing wrong with that.

blog ocho.

In Lisa Belkin's essay, the statistic make your mouth drop. To see the difference in working males and working women with MBA's is insane. Honestly, it's just kind of sad, because that doesn't seem weird to society. That more men have full time jobs rather than women. Think about how different the world would be if the ratios were equal for working men and women. 50 of graduated males stayed home with the children while 50 percent of graduated women went to full time jobs all day. A world where stay at home dads were equally looked upon as stay at home moms, a long with corporate/ CEO's women also. It's odd that these statistics are just normal. And it goes unnoticed to almost everyone in our society today. And it's alos odd that women choose to reject working. It's not just that working women aren't accepted these days, but women choose to stay at home. Why? Is it like a subconscience understanding of our society's "norm"? But it's a good point. I like when she asks the question: "Why don't women rule the world?" Yet she answers it with: "Maybe it's because they don't want to." It a good arguement. I really liked this essay, because its not negative to women who choose to stay home, and isnt negative towards those who choose to live their lives working. My mom didn't finish school before she had me, but after I got older she went back to school, because she wanted to finish her degree so she could start her own career. But I don't blame her for not finishing school, because she was a single parent, so it would have bee extremely difficult for her to go to school, work, and take care of me, and have a life at the same time. But I'm proud that she's now going back to school to finish her degree in pyschology. Personally, I think every person is different, and every woman has different goals that will make them happy. If a woman wants to pursue her career and advance in the work life, then hell yes! Go for it. That's amazing. But if a woman would rather stay home and spend quality time rasing her family, then hell yes to that too. That's an admirable job, and it's not easy. Ask any good mother. In this world today, I think women shouldn't be frowneed upon after years of college, then choosing to stay home with their family. I think that's a wise decision. For a woman to get her education, and have that as a back up incase they do decide to do anything career wise. So either way, I think women can choose how they are successfull. Either successfully working or successfully being a mother. They are both great options.

blog siente.

The movie Bride Wars was a really funny "chick flick" that was good at portraying the stereotype in america for young females. In the movie trailors it displays two best friends that are both engaged and are starting to plan out their weddings. At first they are excited to plan their weddings together, because they have been best friends since birth. But when their wedding gets planned on the same day, its best friends at war to see who gets the wedding date theyve always dreamed. They battle each other through pranks such as dying the other's hair blue, to tanning the other cheetoh orange. Also, not once in the trailor does it show the groom-to-be, which shows that men supposedly dont care about the wedding day near as much as the bride-to-bes do. They "just let the women handle all that crud". This displays how women are loco about weddings, and the idea of marriage. Women supposedly dream about their wedding day starting at the age of barbie and ken. "Typically" anyways. Also is doesn't show that alot of men during these times really do care about their wedding day, and are just as equally excited..A lot of men want to do their part for their big day also. It isn't just the brides big day, it's the future wife, and husbands special day too. And the way they must look on that special day is life threateningly important. Women must be perfectly tanned, and groomed, to look the idea of perfect on the most important day of their life. Which for me, I have many other plans, and the idea of marriage barely crosses my mind in competition with all my other goals and dreams. So stereotypically, I don't fit this mold of women obsessed with their wedding day, and I'm sure in this day in age, many women aren't any more. Yes, it was funny, and before taking this class, I really wouldn't have even considered the gender stereotypes in this movie. But now, I can see how, the men vs. women roles are even displayed in films, but it's kinda like brain washing.. It's un-talked about, and yes there are movies that stretch out of the "norm" but, most movies depict the women/men roles that are supposed to set the examples for today...So, there's nothing I can really do about it, but recognize the behind the scene messages that our media portrays today..But the movie was funny, it is true that women go banana's over their wedding day. And I'm sure that if I ever do change my mind, and decide to be lame and get married, my wedding day will be outrageously important too. :)

blog seis.

This advertisement to me wouldn't have even phased me before I took women's studies. But after being in this class, and learning about the advertisement world, and how it contributes to demoralizing women, i saw this ad in a magazing, and I was mortified. First of all, what normal woman looks like that?! Tan, huge breats! Good grief, it's disgusting! That's the way women are supposed to look these days? If that's what guys think is hot and attractive, I give up! And the way the man is standing above her, straddleing her with drinks in his hand, like having control of her, he's trapping her between his legs. Her face is directly below his penis! And they way she pulls her sunglasses down, as if she is impressed, by a guy straddeling her in a suit on the beach. Why is this guy wearing a suit on the beach? If i saw this is real life, I would look at this man weird. Who wears a suit on the beach? This advertisement shows that men are supposed to be above women sexually and in control. And the big breasted bimbo falls for it, and sexually allows this. I don't know, but this ad really bothers me. This isn't reality for normal people, and it gives people false impressions to grow up to. Like the movies! Romance on the movies is so unrealistic. They make sex seem so passionate and amazing, and out of this world, and even virgins should know better. Real life isn't like the magazines and movies.